Understanding the Roles You've Learned: blue & pink jobs exercise

2 days ago
2 min read

This exercise is designed to help you explore the roles you’ve absorbed over time — often without realising it. Sometimes these are referred to as blue and pink job roles:

“Blue jobs” – traditionally associated with men
“Pink jobs” – traditionally associated with women

Even if you don’t consciously agree with these ideas, they can still shape how you see yourself — and what you expect from yourself.

Step 1: List the roles you associate with “being a man”

Write down what you’ve learned — not what you think you should believe. For example:

Providing financially
Being strong or in control
Not showing vulnerability
Being independent
Not needing support
Taking responsibility for others
Hiding emotional struggle

You might notice these overlap with what are often seen as “blue jobs” — roles linked to strength, control, and provision.

Step 2: Notice the contrast...

Now consider what might traditionally be seen as “pink jobs”:

Emotional expression
Nurturing or caregiving
Asking for support
Talking about feelings
Being vulnerable

Then reflect:

How comfortable do I feel with these?
Do any of these feel “not for me” — and why?
What have I been taught, directly or indirectly, about these roles?

Step 3: Explore where this came from...

For both “blue” and “pink” roles, ask yourself:

Where did I learn this?
Was it spoken, or just implied?
What happened if I stepped outside of these roles?
Who modelled this to me growing up?

This helps you understand that these expectations were learned — not fixed.

Step 4: Notice the impact on you now...

Reflect on your current experience:

Which roles feel natural to me?
Which feel like pressure?
Where do I feel like I’m performing rather than being myself?
What feels difficult, uncomfortable, or unfamiliar?

Step 5: Create space for choice...

This isn’t about rejecting “blue jobs” or becoming something completely different.

It’s about recognising that:

You are an individual — not just a role you’ve learned to perform.

So ask yourself:

What actually fits who I am now?
What feels outdated or limiting?
What would feel more honest or balanced?

Final Reflection

You don’t need to swap one set of roles for another. And you don’t need to get this “right.”

The aim is simply to become more aware of what you’ve been carrying —so you can decide what you want to keep, and what no longer fits.