Question 1

How do we get started?

Accepted Answer

You can get started by booking an initial couples counselling session. This gives us time to talk about what has been happening in your relationship, what you would like support with, and what you are hoping might change.Once your initial session is booked, I will also arrange a separate 20-minute individual call with each of you. These calls are included in the cost of the initial session and give me an opportunity to hear a little more from each of you individually and to understand anything that may be important for our work together. They are not individual counselling sessions, but form part of the initial couples assessment.There is no obligation to continue after the initial session. If we agree that couples counselling feels like an appropriate next step, you can then book ongoing sessions with me directly or through the online booking system.

Question 2

What are individual sessions in couple counselling?

Accepted Answer

As part of Emotionally Focused Couple Therapy (EFCT), each partner will have a one-off, 50-minute individual session at the beginning of the work.

These sessions are not the same as individual counselling, and they are not ongoing although there may be more than 1 depending on the needs of the couple. They are a structured part of the couple therapy process and are used to support the work we do together as a couple.

In these sessions, we may:
Explore your triggers, attachment experiences, and protective responses in the context of the relationship
Help me understand how you experience the relationship and the moments that feel most difficult
Clarify how the negative interaction cycle shows up for you, so we can address it together in joint sessions

The focus remains on the relationship, not on individual therapeutic goals, they are always held in service of the shared goals of the relationship work.

Question 3

How long is each couples session?

Accepted Answer

Initial session: 60 minutesOngoing sessions: 60 minutesIndividual mapping sessions: 50 minutesAs things settle, some couples choose to move to bi-weekly sessions for ongoing support.

Question 4

How many sessions will we need?

Accepted Answer

Emotionally Focused Couples Counselling is not a brief or quick fix approach.  It focuses on understanding and reshaping long standing emotional and attachment patterns between partners.

Most couples need a number of sessions over several months to build safety, understand their patterns and begin creating meaningful change.  There is no fixed number of sessions and we review the work together as it progresses.

For some couples, particularly where there has been relational trauma, repeated ruptures, or long standing difficulties, this can be longer term work, and may unfold over a longer period.

The pace of the work is guided by what feels emotionally safe and constructive for both partners.

Question 5

What is your approach?

Accepted Answer

Rather than focusing on who is right or wrong, we pay attention to what happens between you when things go wrong. This involves gently exploring the emotions, attachment needs, and survival responses that drive moments of conflict or distance.

Together, we identify and slow down your relationship’s interactional cycle, noticing what tends to trigger it, how each of you responds to protect yourselves, and how those responses can unintentionally pull you further apart. By understanding this process, we can begin to create new moments of safety, emotional responsiveness, and connection.

This work is paced, collaborative, and grounded in helping both partners feel safer, heard, and more emotionally connected, rather than overwhelmed or blamed.

Question 6

How much do sessions cost?

Accepted Answer

£150 for the initial 60-minute assessment session
£100 per 60-minute ongoing session (daytime)
£70 Individual mapping sessions

Question 7

Do we need to come every week?

Accepted Answer

Weekly sessions are often best at the start because they help maintain momentum and emotional safety. As things improve, some couples choose to come less frequently. We’ll agree on a pace that works for you.

Question 8

What experience and training do you have in couples counselling?

Accepted Answer

I have completed the Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy (EFCT) Externship and trauma-informed training through EFIT Level 2. My background is in trauma, attachment, and nervous system regulation, which means I work with couples where early experiences, emotional safety, or past trauma play a role in current relationship struggles.

I’m building my couples practice with a focus on safety, compassion, and emotional connection, using approaches that are research-backed and trauma-informed.

Question 9

What does EFCT-informed mean in couples counselling?

Accepted Answer

EFCT stands for Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy. When I say my couples counselling is EFCT-informed, it means I draw on the principles and techniques of EFCT — an approach based on attachment science that helps couples:

Understand the emotional patterns that keep them feeling stuck or disconnected
Communicate needs and feelings in ways that deepen understanding
Rebuild trust, safety, and emotional closeness in the relationship

All counsellors must have a clinical supervisor to be compliant with BACP registration.  I work under the clinical supervision of an accredited EFCT therapist, which means my work is supported by someone with advanced training in this approach. This allows me to integrate EFCT ideas alongside my trauma-informed counselling skills while tailoring the sessions to each couple’s unique needs.

Question 10

Why do we argue or shut down so quickly and how can we change that?

Accepted Answer

When conflict starts, your nervous system might go into “fight, flight, or freeze” mode before you’ve even realised it. That’s why arguments can escalate so fast, or why one of you might shut down.

In couples counselling, I help you understand these reactions using Polyvagal Theory. We then practise co-regulation skills to find ways to slow things down, signal safety to each other, and bring the nervous system back to a place where you can talk and listen instead of react.

Question 11

Are you a registered counsellor?

Accepted Answer

Yes.  I am a Registered Member of the British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy (BACP), which means I adhere to their professional standards and ethical framework. You can view my BACP profile on their website by searching 'Laura Uezzell'.

Question 12

What happens if I need to cancel or miss an appointment?

Accepted Answer

Cancellations require a minimum of 48 hours' notice. Missed or non-attended sessions with less than 48 hours' notice will be charged in full. If I am unable to attend a session, I will let you know as soon as possible and will do my best to make alternative arrangements.

Question 13

How do we know if counselling is right for us?

Accepted Answer

Couples counselling can help if you’re feeling stuck, arguing more than you’d like, or struggling to feel close and connected. Some couples come because they’re facing a big decision, while others simply want to improve how they communicate.

If you’re unsure, you can book a free 15-minute consultation to talk through your concerns, ask questions, and see whether counselling feels like the right next step for you both.

Question 14

What happens in couples counselling sessions?

Accepted Answer

Each session is a safe, structured space where both partners can talk openly and feel heard. As a counsellor informed by Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy (EFCT) and Polyvagal Theory, I’ll help you:

Understand the patterns that keep you feeling stuck or disconnected
Learn how to talk about feelings without arguments escalating
Build skills to support each other and create emotional safety in your relationship

Sessions are guided but collaborative, you set the pace, and we focus on what matters most to you as a couple.

Question 15

Is counselling confidential?

Accepted Answer

Yes. Everything you share in counselling is confidential unless there is a serious risk of harm to you, someone else, or if required by law. I’ll explain confidentiality clearly before we begin, so you always know where you stand.

For couples counselling, it’s important to know that there are no secrets between partners in joint sessions, anything shared individually that affects the relationship will need to be brought into the couple’s work if we continue together.

Question 16

What is attachment?

Accepted Answer

Attachment is how we learn to feel safe, loved, and connected with others.
 Our early relationships shape how we relate as adults, how we trust, communicate, and respond to closeness or conflict. Understanding these patterns can help you build healthier, more secure connections in the present.

Question 17

Is this the same as relationship mediation?

Accepted Answer

No. This work is not mediation.

Mediation focuses on negotiating solutions, improving communication, or helping couples reach agreements. An EFCT-informed approach focuses instead on the emotional and attachment processes underneath conflict.

Rather than helping you “compromise better,” we work to understand what happens emotionally and relationally when you feel hurt, disconnected, or stuck and how those moments shape your relationship patterns.

Question 18

Will you give us tools or communication techniques?

Accepted Answer

This work is not about being taught techniques, scripts, or rules for communication.

Instead of giving advice, we slow things down and look at what happens between you when things go wrong, the emotions, reactions, and protective responses that take over in difficult moments.

By understanding these patterns together, many couples find that communication improves naturally, without needing to rely on tools or strategies that feel forced or hard to maintain.

This approach focuses on creating emotional safety and connection, rather than teaching you how to “say things better.”

Question 19

What if we’re looking for practical advice?

Accepted Answer

If you are mainly looking for structured advice, communication rules, or problem-solving techniques, this approach may not be the right fit.

EFCT-informed work is best suited to couples who want to understand why the same conflicts keep happening, and who are open to working with emotions, vulnerability, and attachment needs to create deeper, more sustainable change.

Question 20

What if we feel nervous about starting couples counselling?

Accepted Answer

Feeling nervous is really common, especially if things have felt tense between you, or you’re worried it could turn into an argument.

Couples counselling isn’t about blaming one person or deciding who’s right. It’s a calmer space to slow things down, understand what’s happening between you, and start finding a better way forward.

You don’t need to come in with the perfect words, we’ll take it step by step.

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FAQs for Couples Counselling