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Beyond the Patterns

Beyond the Patterns

£16.99Price

Making sense of who you are and finding your own way forward: a practical guide you can return to whenever you're trying to make sense of yourself or your relationships.


Part One – Making Sense of Yourself

  • Why do I keep feeling like this?

  • Understanding your nervous system.

  • How childhood shapes adult life.

  • Reconnecting with your inner child.

 

Part Two – Understanding Your Relationships

  • Why do I keep repeating the same patterns?

  • Attachment and emotional safety.

  • People pleasing and boundaries.

  • Understanding relationship patterns.

 

Part Three – Beginning to Heal

  • From self-criticism to self-compassion.

  • Learning emotional safety.

  • Understanding shame.

  • Moving forward.

 

By the end of my practical guide you will be able to:​

  • Understand why you think, feel and react the way you do.

  • Recognise your current patterns are ways of surviving rather than signs that something is wrong with you.

  • Better understand attachment, the nervous system and how childhood experiences can shape adult life.

  • Develop greater self-compassion and reduce self-criticism.

  • Recognise patterns in your relationships and begin responding differently.

  • Feel more connected to yourself.

  • Know that change is possible.

 

We don't need to see ourselves as broken. We adapted for a reason, and understanding those adaptations with compassion is where healing begins.


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    Who is my guide for?

    You keep getting stuck in the same emotional and relationship patterns, despite desperately wanting things to be different. This book is for you if:

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    • you keep ending up in relationships where you don't feel valued, heard or emotionally safe.

    • you put everyone's needs before your own and feel guilty when you try to set boundaries.

    • you worry you've upset people and spends hours replaying conversations in your head.

    • you find it difficult to trust others, ask for help or let people get close.

    • you feel responsible for other people's emotions but disconnected from your own.

    • you know you "should" respond differently but can't stop repeating the same patterns.

    • you often feel "too much" or "not enough."

    • you're compassionate towards other people but struggles to offer that same compassion to yourself.

     

    By the end of this practical guide you will walk away with knowledge to help you identify triggers and be able to break unhealthy reationship patterns.​

    The myths about trauma

    You will have experienced difficult childhood relationships, emotional neglect, inconsistency or criticism - but you won't necessarily have recognised these experiences as trauma. This past trauma can show up as:

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    "Why do I keep reacting like this?"

    "Why do I always end up in the same kinds of relationships?"

    "Why do I overthink everything?"

    "Why do I feel guilty for putting myself first?"

    "Why do I keep repeating the same patterns?"

     

    You're not looking for therapy. You're looking for understanding.

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    You want someone to help you make sense of why you think, feel and respond the way you do, without feeling judged or told there's something wrong with you.

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    You're not the problem, we were never taught how to identify and regulate our emotions or behaviours.​​

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    The benefits of my Guide

    By the end of my practical guide you will be able to:

    ​

    • Understand why you think, feel and react the way you do.

    • Recognise your current patterns are ways of surviving rather than signs that something is wrong with you.

    • Better understand attachment, the nervous system and how childhood experiences can shape adult life.

    • Develop greater self-compassion and reduce self-criticism.

    • Recognise patterns in your relationships and begin responding differently.

    • Feel more connected to yourself.

    • Know that change is possible.

     

    We don't need to see ourselves as broken. We adapted for a reason, and understanding those adaptations with compassion is where healing begins.​

    What's inside my guide?

    PART ONE: MAKING SENSE OF YOURSELF 

    Understanding why you think, feel and respond the way you do.

    Chapter 1: Why Does This Affect Me So Much?

    Chapter 2: How We Learned to Keep Ourselves Safe 

    Chapter 3: When Being Good Enough Becomes a Job 

     

    PART TWO: UNDERSTANDING YOUR RELATIONSHIP PATTERNS 

    How our experiences influence the way we relate to others.

    Chapter 4: Why Relationships Bring It All to the Surface

    Chapter 5: When Love and Harm Become Entangled 

     

    PART THREE: BEGINNING TO RESPOND DIFFERENTLY 

    Developing greater awareness, self-trust and choice.

    Chapter 6: Why Understanding It Doesn't Always Change It 

    Chapter 7: Learning to Respond Differently

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