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FAQs for Coaching
Frequently asked questions
Couples Counselling Sessions
Coaching Sessions
Individual Counselling Sessions
You can begin with a free 15-minute Discovery Call. It’s a chance for both of you to share what’s been happening and see if couples counselling feels like the right fit. There’s no obligation to continue, but if you decide to move forward, you can book your first session directly or through my online booking system.
As part of Emotionally Focused Couple Therapy (EFCT), each partner will have a one-off, 50-minute individual session at the beginning of the work.
These sessions are not the same as individual counselling, and they are not ongoing although there may be more than 1 depending on the needs of the couple. They are a structured part of the couple therapy process and are used to support the work we do together as a couple.
In these sessions, we may:
• Explore your triggers, attachment experiences, and protective responses in the context of the relationship
• Help me understand how you experience the relationship and the moments that feel most difficult
• Clarify how the negative interaction cycle shows up for you, so we can address it together in joint sessions
The focus remains on the relationship, not on individual therapeutic goals, they are always held in service of the shared goals of the relationship work.
Emotionally Focused Couples Counselling is not a brief or quick fix approach. It focuses on understanding and reshaping long standing emotional and attachment patterns between partners.
Most couples need a number of sessions over several months to build safety, understand their patterns and begin creating meaningful change. There is no fixed number of sessions and we review the work together as it progresses.
For some couples, particularly where there has been relational trauma, repeated ruptures, or long standing difficulties, this can be longer term work, and may unfold over a longer period.
The pace of the work is guided by what feels emotionally safe and constructive for both partners.
Rather than focusing on who is right or wrong, we pay attention to what happens between you when things go wrong. This involves gently exploring the emotions, attachment needs, and survival responses that drive moments of conflict or distance.
Together, we identify and slow down your relationship’s interactional cycle, noticing what tends to trigger it, how each of you responds to protect yourselves, and how those responses can unintentionally pull you further apart. By understanding this process, we can begin to create new moments of safety, emotional responsiveness, and connection.
This work is paced, collaborative, and grounded in helping both partners feel safer, heard, and more emotionally connected, rather than overwhelmed or blamed.
I have completed the Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy (EFCT) Externship and trauma-informed training through EFIT Level 2. My background is in trauma, attachment, and nervous system regulation, which means I work with couples where early experiences, emotional safety, or past trauma play a role in current relationship struggles.
I’m building my couples practice with a focus on safety, compassion, and emotional connection, using approaches that are research-backed and trauma-informed.
EFCT stands for Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy. When I say my couples counselling is EFCT-informed, it means I draw on the principles and techniques of EFCT — an approach based on attachment science that helps couples:
• Understand the emotional patterns that keep them feeling stuck or disconnected
• Communicate needs and feelings in ways that deepen understanding
• Rebuild trust, safety, and emotional closeness in the relationship
All counsellors must have a clinical supervisor to be compliant with BACP registration. I work under the clinical supervision of an accredited EFCT therapist, which means my work is supported by someone with advanced training in this approach. This allows me to integrate EFCT ideas alongside my trauma-informed counselling skills while tailoring the sessions to each couple’s unique needs.
When conflict starts, your nervous system might go into “fight, flight, or freeze” mode before you’ve even realised it. That’s why arguments can escalate so fast, or why one of you might shut down.
In couples counselling, I help you understand these reactions using Polyvagal Theory. We then practise co-regulation skills to find ways to slow things down, signal safety to each other, and bring the nervous system back to a place where you can talk and listen instead of react.
Couples counselling can help if you’re feeling stuck, arguing more than you’d like, or struggling to feel close and connected. Some couples come because they’re facing a big decision, while others simply want to improve how they communicate.
If you’re unsure, you can book a free 15-minute consultation to talk through your concerns, ask questions, and see whether counselling feels like the right next step for you both.
Each session is a safe, structured space where both partners can talk openly and feel heard. As a counsellor informed by Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy (EFCT) and Polyvagal Theory, I’ll help you:
• Understand the patterns that keep you feeling stuck or disconnected
• Learn how to talk about feelings without arguments escalating
• Build skills to support each other and create emotional safety in your relationship
Sessions are guided but collaborative, you set the pace, and we focus on what matters most to you as a couple.
Yes. Everything you share in counselling is confidential unless there is a serious risk of harm to you, someone else, or if required by law. I’ll explain confidentiality clearly before we begin, so you always know where you stand.
For couples counselling, it’s important to know that there are no secrets between partners in joint sessions, anything shared individually that affects the relationship will need to be brought into the couple’s work if we continue together.
No. This work is not mediation.
Mediation focuses on negotiating solutions, improving communication, or helping couples reach agreements. An EFCT-informed approach focuses instead on the emotional and attachment processes underneath conflict.
Rather than helping you “compromise better,” we work to understand what happens emotionally and relationally when you feel hurt, disconnected, or stuck and how those moments shape your relationship patterns.
This work is not about being taught techniques, scripts, or rules for communication.
Instead of giving advice, we slow things down and look at what happens between you when things go wrong, the emotions, reactions, and protective responses that take over in difficult moments.
By understanding these patterns together, many couples find that communication improves naturally, without needing to rely on tools or strategies that feel forced or hard to maintain.
This approach focuses on creating emotional safety and connection, rather than teaching you how to “say things better.”
If you are mainly looking for structured advice, communication rules, or problem-solving techniques, this approach may not be the right fit.
EFCT-informed work is best suited to couples who want to understand why the same conflicts keep happening, and who are open to working with emotions, vulnerability, and attachment needs to create deeper, more sustainable change.
Feeling nervous is really common, especially if things have felt tense between you, or you’re worried it could turn into an argument.
Couples counselling isn’t about blaming one person or deciding who’s right. It’s a calmer space to slow things down, understand what’s happening between you, and start finding a better way forward.
You don’t need to come in with the perfect words, we’ll take it step by step.
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